the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
