Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
