whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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