Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
