You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
