Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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