In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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