Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
