we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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