why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
