you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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