Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
