I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
