im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
