wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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