Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
