Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
