I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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