So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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