he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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