i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
