I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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