Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
