WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
