shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
