Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
