I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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