at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
