One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
