I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
