it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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