I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
