Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
