We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
