exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
