Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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