My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
