me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i think im in europe. pls send help
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
