They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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