did you get engaged???
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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