it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
