Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
