This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
