drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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