I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
