In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
