Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
barbara walters just said penis...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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