You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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