I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
