so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
