do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
