So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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