I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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