You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They have beer where we have blood.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
