We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
