OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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