There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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