Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize