i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
