So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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