Buhtt sex?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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