omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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