I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
