DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
