spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
