Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
